The Metaphor

 

 

Sensuality and or sexuality has always been a bit of an enigma for me.  Someone might say what the *bleep you’re  a senior citizen  how can that be?    So, without going in to all the gory details let’s say that’s a given.  I’m all on or all off, hot or cold, all giving or all with holding, obvious or incognito .  So then how do I reach the in between what lives there. Then it came to me  the METAPHOR

I’m a seed,                                                                                                                           full of potential

          held tightly

          in the skin of being

          jam packed with organic  memory

          vibrating in potentiality.

          Getting nicked,

          forced to bloom

          an unnatural event.

 

I'm holding out  for furtile ground.

Well past 60 and still Bloggin

I'm on a mission to fall in love deeply wholly and profoundly in love with my body.  This is going to be an ADVENTURE.
I already have a mindset that it will be hard as I have a huge list of why I don't:
 1.  I am my biggest self.
 2.  My hormones are in low supply.
 3.Betrayal.
 4.  I have shortness of breath with exercise.
and a question arises "Are these demons to be exorcised or concepts that are true.  and What does it look like to be the center of this love.
I'll begin with the body list  (warning some of this is grafic and not suitable for small minds)
FEET
I send love to my feet.  They are small and have cute toes.  They move quite well and allow me to stand.
Ankles
They are no longer rage-full or cause me distress.   (years ago the skin around my ankles was covered with psoriasis.)
CALF
Are strong and sturdy and really hold me up.  They have a nice curve.
THIGHS
(This is where it begins to get ugly)Are armored and protected.  Louise Hay* intimates that heavy thighs are a result of anger @ the father-   I can be with that.
VULVA
is covered in fat and protecting my vulnerability.
(I severed my fertility at the age of 25) and consequently have feel cut off from creativity.
DIGESTION
As a function has cause me issues since i was 13.  So much to dislike
Sugar is used to reward and soothe and actually punishes my body
PANCREAS
is dealing with to much  too much toooo much. I put a lot of stress on my pancreas.
BELLY FAT
more protection.  Just for the record I do not believe that a person can BE fat.  Fat is something a BODY has and not a state of being.

BREASTS
are aging gracefully. Not quite as sensitive as once were and are most likely craving attention.
NECK
is a source of stiffness and is tight.
SHOULDERS
SPINE
sometimes reminds me that I long for support
HEAD
is of good shape.
FACE
Leaves me wanting-  it's a bit  too round and needs enhancements.
TEETH
are discusting and unappealing.
NOSE
cute and small and not obtrusive  and currently clear of  yuck.
HAIR
always needs assistance,to which I currently attend.

WITH all this JUDGEMENT a MIRACLE exists.  I LIVE..  THIS BODY CONTINUES TO BREATHE ---MOVE--- LAUGH ---FEEL  ----EXPRESS.  A BODY CAN SURVIVE THIS AMOUNT OF HATE.  THE WAY TO LOVING MY BODY IS NOT  TO DISGUARD OR  GET RID OF BUT THROUGH  THE HATE AND TO APPRECIATE THE MIRACLE /GRACE THAT CAN SURVIVE AND THRIVE


  


*Louise Hay reference to You Can Heal Your Life  paraphrased

Working my way back to Zero!

7.7.13

I have blogged right past a new birthday. Since I am counting backward from 60 trying to make it to zero and in 6 years I will be the same age as my first born. I wonder how that will work I will eventually slide passed each of my off spring.

Time not working has been quite fascinating. I have often been under the weather (euphemism for feeling like crap) and that has passed I am grateful.. I have managed to purge a small amount of ‘things’ that were bogging me down. I actually installed a sliding basket from The Container Store in one of my kitchen cabinets (all other I needed to ask for assistance to install. ) These little amenities have made my life a bit more convenient. I enjoy them more than I should. What can I say I like my creature comforts! I had great ideas about what retirement would bring… and attached to each… like in the life of me as a working woman there are $$$$ attached. Creating simple days challenges my brain.. Fortunately this being summer I can in~joy the pool that is a major part of the HOA fees I pay.. I am an unabashed sun worshiper.

So at this point retirement has granted me the luxuries of cleaning my dwelling (I no longer have to live with the woman who doesn’t have time to clean and shop). I get to appreciate time spent by the pool which I have been paying for the 12 years that I have lived in this condo.

I am having an adventure finding ways to fill my day with more time than ideas rather than the opposite.

In my future I see visions of a couple classes that engage me creatively, movement that supports my health and the GRANDLOVES!

#retirement #simple life

Spring , sprang! Sprung

Spring , sprang! Sprung

All my work is done!!

NOT

I have missed few minutes of days light as I woke after the sun rose.  It has been a long breath inward since the winter solstice and I gently exhale until we reach the summer solstice. 

It’s time to start making lists ie:

What to purge….

Nooks and crannies to clean, organize and refresh.

Projects to begin.

New recipes to try.

My list of lists is complete.  I guess my task of the moment is complete. 

From the appearance of this blog moment the ordinary person might think I am organized… I happy to tell you I am not… I just like lists ~  they help me fake it till I make it.

 

Continuing chapter

 

 

I’m 60something.. chubby , charmin’ and ALIVE.   So what does that mean?  I’d say retirement had a different perspective from the side of working woman.  I finally  am rested and it only took 3 months, not bad for a 35 year career of mostly more than 70hrs a week,  raisin’ a crew of 3 ( truly great adults) mostly as a singleton.  So good is it to TRY to fill my days a most unbelievable land I had no idea existed.  What has been true is that I easily settled into OLD habits of tv and coffee klatches (redubbed Facebook) and the hours float by me without notice.  NOT the way it’s going to be for the second half….I repeat NOT!!   I’m considering leaving chubby me behind since leaving 60something charming and alive are out of the question.  

I hope you all keep up with me  I’ll be BLOGGIN all the way.

My Gypsy Soul

Her I am again... bloggin my way in life...heck I'm more than 1/2 way into this first year of 60 and I have found I've blogged straight to the unemployment line... Life sure is full of surprises.. I had exxpected to retire from that job You know what they say: want to make god laugh....tell him your PLAN!!!
I must say I thought I had wrestled with all my demons many moons ago. In this youth oriented (and economice down turn)... I feel a bit disadvantaged to be facing entry level positions. I certainly am not wanting to go in debt to finish that BA I started 30+ years ago-- actually I'm still paying that off. In the do goody field that I chose without the sheepskin pay is just a notch above minimum wage. I often ask myself why I chose to serve people and remind myself I was married then and thought it would add nicely to the family budget. OH BORE !!! OH BOTHER!!!! enough WHINE.

The juice here is that NOW, Iget to create myself a new. So ass I look into my gypsy soul.... I see the makings of an entrapaneur and to this end I'll continue to blog... join me on this new ride toward silliness and success.

Me at 60

( I don't think the URLs in my blog work, sorry